We live in a culture (and society) that's normalized drinking alcohol at practically any event. We drink at weddings, funerals, birthday parties, social gatherings, and even baby showers! It's been a staple of human connection for a really long time. We don't think about questioning our drinking (or the drinking of others) unless there's physical consequences, like blacking out and not remembering the evening, maybe getting physically or verbally aggressive with someone, or having a sexual encounter we couldn't consent to.
Why is it that we wait until something extreme happens before we start to question our drinking?
What would happen if we maybe started to examine our drinking at the point where it feels the most innocent: at social gatherings.
The Social Media Effect: Comparing Our Drinking Habits
Social media plays a big role in glorifying drinking culture. When we see our friends share posts and stories of them clinking glasses, influencers promoting "wine o' clock", and moms sharing about how they need their wine at the end of a long day, we're constantly being bombarded with this idea that alcohol is the key to fun (and don't even get me started on how the alcohol industry pops up in our algorithims and during commercials attempting to sell us their beverage of choice. Did you know that there are strict regulations in place to ensure that alcohol advertising is responsible in the UK? Ads are not allowed to appeal to anyone under the age of 18 or appear in a place where minors are a significant audience, ads cannot imply that alcohol improves mental, physical, or sexual performance, ads cannot show alcohol as a way to boost confidence, popularity, or attractiveness, ads cannot encourage binge drinking or irresponsible behavior, and ads cannot make false claims about alcohol strength, benefits, or effects. Imagine what would happen if these same regulations were applied to alcohol advertisements in the US!)
What's the message here? That drinking is fun, trendy, and a necessary part of relaxation and celebration. Social media shows us that everyone is drinking...and enjoying it.
But what aren't we seeing behind these glamorized drinking posts? The hangovers, the regretful texts, the emotional crashes that last for days (and sometimes even weeks), and the long-term impact alcohol has on mental health.
The "Hangxiety" Phenomenon
Have you ever woken up after a night out feeling not just hungover, but deeply anxious? That's what many call "hangxiety", which is a mix of hangover symptoms and heightened anxiety. Alcohol disrupts sleep, dehydrates the body, and leaves the brain in a chemical imbalance, making us feel more anxious and depressed the next day. If this cycle repeats often, it can lead to chronic low moods and heightened stress levels, making us wonder why we feel so off even when everything in life seems fine.
While anyone can feel anxious after drinking, certain factors making hangxiety more likely:
People with social anxiety - if you already struggle with anxiety, drinking (especially in social settings) can make it worse
People who binge drink - the more alcohol you consume, the more severe the effects on brain chemistry
People prone to overthinking - if you second-guess yourself frequently, alcohol's memory disruptions can intensify this
People with high stress levels - if you're already under stress, alcohol's impact on brain function can make it harder to bounce back emotionally
If hangxiety is a recurring issue, consider cutting back or switching to mindful drinking, which is when you're being super intentional about when, why, and how much you drink. Some people also explore the sober-curious movement, which promotes alternatives to alcohol for socializing and relaxation.
The Pressure to Drink in Social Settings
One of the biggest reasons social drinking is so prevalent in our culture is because of the pressure to participate. Saying "no" to a drink can feel awkward, almost as if you're breaking an unspoken social contract. Many people drink to fit in, avoid judgment, or to ease social anxiety...but at what cost?
The expectation to drink can lead to overconsumption, poor decision-making, and regret the next day. Worse, when drinking becomes a habitual response to socializing, it can be hard to recognize its role when our mental health starts to decline. We're also faced with a loss of autonomy when we're pressured to drink. Being forced to drink takes away personal choice and self-control.
One of the ways to avoid dealing with constant questions is to order a mocktail, soda with lime, or alcohol-free beer. The non-alcoholic (NA) scene has become incredibly diverse over the last few years as more and more people celebrate alcohol-free living while still wanting to spend time with friends at social events! Give it a try!
If someone won't take no for an answer, it's okay to be firm and set boundaries. You don't owe anyone an explanation for not drinking.
Why Drinking at Social Gatherings Actually Makes Us More Depressed
We often view alcohol as a social lubricant; something that helps us relax, connect, and have fun in social settings. But while drinking might feel good in the moment, it can actually leave us feeling worse afterward, especially when it comes to our mental health. Many people don't realize that the very thing they're using to feel happier and more social could actually be making them more anxious, isolated, and depressed in the long run.
When we drink, we get an intial boost of pleasure and confidence as dopamine is released. This is why alcohol can make social situations feel easier and more fun at first. But...here's the problem:
Once alcohol wears off, your brain goes into recovery mode and tries to rebalance itself. This means that our dopamine levels drop, leading to feelings of sadness and emptiness. Our GABA decreases, while our stress hormones increase, making us feel restless and anxious. And then, our sleep quality suffers, leaving us feeling emotionally and mentally drained.
THe more frequently this cycle happens, the harder it becomes for our brain to regulate our mood naturally. Over time, this can make people more prone to long-term depression and anxiety.
One of the biggest ironies of alcohol is that while it's supposed to make us more social, it often leaves us feeling more isolated. Drinking can make conversations feel easier, but often, those connections are shallow or forgotten the next day. When alcohol is the main social focus, deeper emotionaly bonds don't always form. If drinking is your main way to socialize, it can create a cycle where you only feel comfortable in social settings when drinking. This can lead to avoidance of sober interactions, making social anxiety or feelings of isolation worse over time. Studies have found that people who frequently drink in social settings are actually more likely to feel lonely in the long term, especially if drinking replaces other forms of connection.
While alcohol makes us feel carefree in the moment, it also lowers our ability to regulate emotions and control negative thoughts. This means:
Small worries feel like big problems.
Social anxieties feel amplified the next day.
Regret, embarrassment, and overthinking kick in big time.
This is why many people wake up after drinking feeling more anxious, sad, or guilty, even if nothing bad happened.
The more we drink to feel good, the worse we feel without it. Alcohol creates a false sense of happiness. When it's relied upon to make us feel good, our brain associates socializing with alcohol, making sober situations feel less enjoyable; even unbearable. This can lead to:
feeling like you "need" alcohol to have fun or be social
finding non-drinking events boring or awkward
struggling to feel relaxed or confident without drinking
Over time, this dulls your natural ability to feel pleasure, making you more likely to experience low moods or depressive symptoms when you're not drinking.
How to Enjoy Social Gatherings Without Alcohol
And now, for my favorite part of this post! Here's the good news: you don't need alcohol to have fun or feel connected at social events. Breaking this cycle may feel impossible at first, but I'm here to tell you, it's not only possible...it's so unbelievably worth it.
Start by shifting your mindset on socializing. Ask yourself:
Am I drinking because I want to, or because I feel like I have to?
Do I actually enjoy the social setting, or is the alcohol the only thing making it bearable?
Would I still have fun at this event if I wasn't drinking?
Being more intentional about when and why you drink can help break the cycle.
There are TONS of alternative ways to connect with others that don't include alcohol!
Outdoor activities, going to the gym with friends, game nights, coffee meetups - these create genuine connections without drinking
Mocktails or alcohol free options - with the explosion of people choosing to go alcohol-free, there are delicious NA options available at the majority of bars, wineries, and restaurants! You can still enjoy the experience without the negative side effects.
Going out sober once in a while - see how you actually feel in social settings without alcohol.
Drinking at social gatherings may seem like a way to feel happier and more connected, but in reality, it often leads to emotional crashes, depression, increased anxiety, and deeper feelings of isolation. The key takeaway? If alcohol is making you feel worse in the longrun, it's okay to rethink your relationship with it. Alcohol isn't a necessary component to being social, having fun, or feeling confident.
Your best moments don't come from a drink, but from genuine connections and experiences.
At Root Counseling, we help people identify behaviors in their life they'd like to shift to help them on their healing journey. To schedule a session with one of our therapists, you can visit us here.
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