When Does Church Become a High- Control Group? - What To Look Out For

In previous posts, we've discussed the intersectionality between C-PTSD and religious trauma, the indoctrination that occurs at a young age in Christianity and the psychological damage that occurs due to this indoctrination, and how to determine if the religious activities or community you're a part of teeter on the line of a cult using Steven Hassan's BITE model (behavior, information, thought, and emotional control). Today, we're going to talk about church from the lens of a high control group.

The words "cult" and "high-control group" are often used interchangeably, but they have important differences! "Cult" is a loaded language word, meaning that it invokes a big feeling inside us when we hear that word. It's typically used in a negative way to describe a belief system and the leadership within that belief system. And while there are definitely circumstances that deem this word appropriate (Jonestown, Heaven's Gate, Scientology), it can also be damaging when trying to analyze our own religious experiences or attempting to help a friend get out of a cult.

When we analyze ours (or others) religious experiences, using "cult" to describe those experiences can make it more challenging for us (and others) to actually take a step back and view those experiences from a place of curiosity. Instead, we (and others) might be quick to become defensive or combative because in our minds, there's no way WE would ever be apart of a cult.

This is where "high-control groups" comes into play. Let's talk about what places a group into this category and how we can analyze our own religious experiences, past and present, from this perspective.

Cult vs High Control Group

As mentioned above, cult and high-control group are often used interchangeably, and while they have many similarities, there are also a few differences that provide clarification and detail into what we're attempting to describe.

Cult

• Loaded term, often used in negative ways or sensationalized in the media

• Spiritual/religious connotation; typically implies a group with unusual or extreme religious beliefs or charismatic leaders

• COMMON TRAITS:

  • worship of a leader or ideology

  • isolation from society

  • strict obedience

  • often secrecy and suspicion of outsiders

High-Control Group

• Clinical/neutral term, often used in academic and psychological circles

• Includes religious groups, political movements, MLMs, extreme fitness cults, and abusive relationships

• Defined by behaviors; it's not about what the group believes but how much control it exerts

• INDICATORS (based on the BITE Model by Steven Hassan):

  • Behavior Control: Where you go, what you eat, who you date

  • Information Control: Restricting or distorting access to outside information

  • Thought Control: Indoctrination, black-and-white thinking

  • Emotional Control: Guilt, fear, phobias about leaving

Cult is typically used to describe religious or spiritual groups, whereas high-control groups describe any group (religious, political, corporate, or relationship) that exerts a level of control over its followers. It's a broader term overall, and this broader term gives us the ability to critically analyze groups that maybe fall outside the spiritual/religious realm while also giving us a more neutral term to use when we're talking with someone who is in a cult.

If you're analyzing a specific group or experience, "high-control group" is usually and more precise and respectful term, especially when talking with survivors.

When Church Becomes a High-Control Group

To be clear: not all churches are high-control. They are many that are supportive, healthy, inclusive, and open. But some religious environments do cross into high-control behavior, and it's really important to be on the lookout for this type of behavior in your own church.

We're going to be using the BITE model, by Steven Hassan, using examples some former members have reported from high-control churches.

1. Behavior Control - controls your actions, environments, and associations

   1. Examples in high-control churches:

      1. Dictating who you can marry/date (arranged marriages, no dating outside church)

      2. Requiring members to attend multiple services per week or long "revival" meetings

      3. Strict dress codes (women must wear skirts, dresses, or head coverings, men must be clean-shaven)

      4. Monitoring or discouraging contact with "worldly" family/friends

      5. Regulating sleep, diet, or sex (fasting as punishment or celibacy for control)

2. Information Control - limits access to outside or contradictory information

   1. Examples in high-control churches:

      1. Prohibiting or warning against secular books, TV, movies, or internet

      2. Discouraging reading religious materials not approved by the church

      3. Labeling critical media (like documentaries and exposès) as "satanic" or dangerous

      4. Keeping church teachings secret from outsiders ("milk vs meat" theology)

3. Thought Control - manipulates how members think and process reality

   1. Examples in high-control churches:

      1. Teaching black-and-white thinking (like "we're the only true church)

      2. Encouraging use of loaded language or church-specific jargon

      3. Demonizing questions or doubt (like "doubt is from the devil")

      4. Indoctrinating members from childhood, discouraging independent thinking

4. Emotional Control - uses guilt, fear, and shame to keep members compliant

   1. Examples in high-control churches:

      1. Fear-based preaching (constant talk of hell, the rapture, or wrath)

      2. Shaming members for sin or normal feelings (like having "impure thoughts")

      3. Public confessions or punishments

      4. Making people feel indebted to the group or leadership ("you owe your life to this ministry"

      5. Teaching that leaving the church means losing your salvation or being cursed.

   
   
   
   

Questions to Consider

Living our lives from a place of curiosity gives us the ability to reflect on our past and current experiences with kindness, compassion, and critical thinking skills.

If you've left the church or are still attending church, these questions, when framed within the BITE model, can be helpful to reflect on.

1. Behavior Control - Do they try to control what I do?

   1. Do leaders try to control how I dress, who I date, or how I spend my time?

   2. Are there punishments or shaming for missing events, services, or volunteering?

   3. Am I discouraged or forbidden from hanging out with non-members?

   4. Do I feel guilty when I rest, relax, or set boundaries?

   5. Is there pressure to conform to a specific lifestyle or schedule?

2. Information Control - Do they restrict what I can know?

   1. Am I told not to read books, watch videos, or explore other Christian perspectives?

   2. Are ex-members labeled as liars, bitter, or dangerous?

   3. Is there pressure not to ask questions or express doubt?

   4. Are sermons or teachings edited or kept secret from outsiders?

   5. Do I get the sense that only leadership has the "real truth"?

3. Thought Control - Do they shape how I think?

   1. Is questioning leadership seen as rebellion or sin?

   2. Do I use insider language that shuts down critical thinking (like "that's just the enemy attacking")?

   3. Do I feel like I have to suppress my doubts to be a "good" Christian?

   4. Is there black-and-white thinking? ("we're right; everyone else is wrong")

   5. Am I told what to think about politics, relationships, or careers?

4. Emotional Control - Do they manipulate how I feel?

   1. Do I feel constant guilt, shame, or fear of not measuring up?

   2. Is fear used to keep me in line? ("if you leave, you'll be cursed, lose your salvation, or go to hell")

   3. Do I feel like I'll lose community, salvation, or identity if I leave?

   4. Am I love-bombed when I comply, but ignored or attacked when I question?

   5. Does my emotional well-being depend on the church's approval?

5. BONUS GUT CHECK QUESTIONS

   1. Do i feel safe bringing concerns to leadership?

   2. Do I feel like my life is truly my own, or is it being managed for me?

   3. If I left, what would happen? Would I be shunned, smeared, or feared?

   
   

If you answered "yes" to several of these, it doesn't automatically mean you're in a cult - but it might suggest you're in a high-control or spiritually manipulative environment. And that's worth taking seriously.

Final Thoughts

Recognizing high-control dynamics in a church setting can be unnerving, but it's a courageous and vital step toward spiritual and emotional clarity. Not all churches are harmful, but when a group starts to control your behavior, limit your access to information, shape how you think, or manipulate your emotions (especially through fear, guilt, or shame), it may be crossing into spiritually abusive territory. Asking honest questions and trusting your instincts is not rebellion; it's discernment. Faith should empower you, not imprison you. You deserve a spiritual community that supports your growth, respects your autonomy, and welcomes your questions without fear.

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At Root Counseling, we're here to support individuals on wherever their spiritual journey has taken them while helping them find or maintain their own autonomy, examine their experiences with curiousity and kindness, and create a life for themselves that empowers them. To schedule an appointment with one of our therapists, you can visit us here.